You don’t have to have it all figured out to have a rich conversation with your kids

 

We’ve all seen what is happening in Israel and Gaza on the news. It’s heart-wrenching and brings up some big questions in our own adult minds. Anytime Israel is involved, we wonder about its greater significance in the history of humanity. Is this a sign? Is this the sign? Have the end times begun?

 

Even as adults, we don’t have all the answers. God’s Word says, “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” (Matthew 24:36). At the same time, the Bible indicates “there will be …fearful events and great signs” (Luke 21:11).

 

When I try to match our current events with the somewhat veiled biblical prophecy, I imagine those worksheets you see in elementary school. A column of pictures is on the left, and you must draw a line to the object that relates to it on the right. It feels like I’m trying to piece together a very complicated puzzle.

 

If you have children or work with them, they may have the same questions as you. Kids talk, and if they have a base-level knowledge of the Bible or the Christian faith, they are likely processing what these strange and heartbreaking times mean.

 

I wouldn’t have even thought to write this article had it not been for my thirteen-year-old son reading about the current war on his phone’s news app, talking with his friends about it, and then asking my opinion on the Israel-Hamas war as it relates to apocalyptic literature found in the Bible. Of course, he didn’t ask using those exact words, but he was cautiously curious nonetheless—enough to start the conversation.

 

 

Since it’s not every day your kids ask questions with such serious implications, I thought I’d write down what I learned from the conversation that ensued with my son. I hope it is helpful to you as you navigate end-time conversations that pop up with the kids in your life.

 

Start with Prayer

It seems so cliché that I thought about not making this the first point. But it’s really that important. We cannot arrive at the truth without the Holy Spirit guiding us. We also can’t approach the conversation in a way that’s helpful without the fruit of the Spirit’s work in our lives—fruit like love, peace, and faith—so we must pray. With our hearts and minds centered on Jesus, we can enter the conversation with wisdom, grace, and gentleness.

  

Let Them Ask Questions

Your kids are curious about world events and how they relate to their faith. As I mentioned, my teenage son brought the headlines to my attention before I even carved out time to investigate the matter myself. From what I gather, my son’s friends were talking about the alarming news in a group chat and even engaging in religious conversation.

 

But at the end of the day, our kids don’t just want hearsay or the guesswork of their friends. They want to know our perspective. Even more, they want to understand the truth, and they come to us for it.

 

Welcome their questions. Invite them. Show interest. Be patient with them and with yourself. Thank them for coming to you.

 

As our church’s youth pastor points out, the more invitational and welcoming parents can be with their kids regarding otherwise uncomfortable conversations, the greater the likelihood kids will go to their parents with other pressing matters (including relational conflicts, mental health, and sexuality).

 

Even if they don’t bring it up themselves, consider approaching an important topic like the day’s news with, “What do you think about…?” Then, let them talk.

 

Point Them to the Truth

One of the best things you can do in all aspects of life is open the Bible with your kids. Now is an excellent opportunity to show them that God’s Word is a relevant resource for all kinds of questions on their hearts and minds and is readily available whenever they need it.

 

When unsure where to start, research credible Christian websites backed by reliable faith-filled organizations and churches. For example, after some quick research, I found this website* helpful in finding some interesting potential parallels between our current headlines and Bible prophecy. Heading to the Book of Revelation would have made sense to me, but this article pointed me to the Book of Ezekiel. A handful of other prophets in the Bible also allude to what the end times will be like.

 

*Remember, this is just one perspective based on an interpretation of Scripture. I recommend you do your own research, talk to your local pastor or a Bible scholar, and ensure your reading is biblical and accurate. As for the news, get it from a variety of sources to help overcome bias that may exist in one individual source.

 

Be Honest

It’s ok that you don’t have all the answers. Tell them so. You don’t have to wait until you feel ready. In fact, it’s good for your kids to see you wrestle through this stuff and witness your process for finding answers. Include them in the process. “I don’t know” demonstrates a spirit of humility with your kids and, simultaneously, a trust in the infinite wisdom of God.

 

On the other hand, when your kids ask questions, don’t be afraid to share what you do know. Your kids deserve the truth. (After all, Jesus said, “the kingdom belongs to such as these.”) But do so in an age-appropriate manner. Let their questions guide you in how much they are ready to hear.

 

Let Them Wrestle

Perhaps the most important truth you need to wrap your parental mind around is that it’s beneficial for your kids to wrestle. Wrestling through difficult questions gives your kids a chance to think for themselves, develop their own faith, and build confidence in their own relationship with the Holy Spirit.

 

So much of our lives is lived in tension—the tension between desiring truth and reconciling the unknown. Trusting and yet accepting that there is an aspect of mystery. Wanting it to happen, but not yet.

 

But guess what? Tension isn’t all bad. It’s in this tension that faith forms.

 

Just as you don’t have all the answers, you don’t need to wrap everything up in a pretty bow for your kids, either. It’s okay to acknowledge and live in the tension. Consider leaving your kids with a question to chew on or an opposing perspective or idea to consider.

 

Get Out in Nature

All this serious conversation demands a breath of fresh air. Let’s be honest: it’s tempting for our kids to numb out or escape reality using technology even in regular times. Uncertain times create even more of a pull to veg out. But there are good, healthy ways to take a break from the news and our uncertainty.

 

For many science-backed reasons, getting out in nature is, hands-down, a better stress outlet than technology. When we have the chance, my husband and I like taking our kids on hikes. Adventuring in God’s creation is not only healthy for the body but for the soul and spirit as well. It reminds us that God is bigger than our problems. He’s omniscient, omnipresent, and, let’s not forget, omnipotent. In this environment, we gain perspective.

 

While this Middle Eastern conflict was coming to a head, we happened to be on our annual Fall Break vacation in the Smokies. As I was recalling the previous day’s conversation with my son about the potential of end times signs and the current conflict in Israel and Gaza, we were driving through the national park on our way to a trailhead for a day of hiking.

 

Out the passenger side window, I reveled at the forest with its limitless depth of individual tree trunks holding up an endless canopy of greens and yellows. In each second of driving, I imagine we passed thousands of trees.

 

It reminded me that God is in control. When we are all in bed sleeping at the day’s end, he will still have watch over this forest and everything in it. I am small. God is infinite. There is nothing that surprises him. There’s nothing he can’t do.

 

 

So consider stopping at a park for a bit after a hard conversation or going on a walk together in your neighborhood. Just a few minutes outdoors can be refreshing.

 

Make It Personal

I once had a chance to speak with a Palestinian-American woman in my community and hear about her extended family’s experiences living in Palestine. It was a perspective that, as a white, Christian American, I hadn’t heard as frequently. Being a follower of Jesus means choosing to have the eyes and ears to see, hear, and acknowledge the pain of others with a heart of compassion.

 

So don’t be afraid to address the complexity of the issue and the long-standing history of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. Your kids will appreciate hearing a multifaceted approach to the conversation.

 

Gen Z and Gen Alpha are keenly interested in issues of social justice. Atrocities like what’s happening in Israel and Gaza rightly make them want to stand up for those who are oppressed, in prison, taken hostage, etc. Listen to your kids’ perspectives. Take a posture of learning as you speak with your children. You are (likely) not an expert. They may offer a perspective you hadn’t thought about. When you listen to a child, there is always something to gain.

 

Then, encourage your family to pray for ALL people in this violent, unprecedented crisis. It may seem like you can do nothing for the humanitarian effort, but you can always pray. If they want, let your kids research ways they can contribute to the humanitarian efforts of bringing relief to those who are suffering. You can even start by encouraging more compassion and kindness on the home front.

 

Share the Hope We Have

Finally, wherever the conversation takes you and your family, finish on the hope we have in Jesus. Remind them of the simple truth that light wins when light and darkness fill the same space. When it comes to end times, it is vital to keep the hope of Jesus in our minds and hearts. Let truth and love replace fear.

 

Share verses like John 1:5, which proclaims, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” In John 8:12, Jesus declares, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” And in Psalm 39:7, the Word challenges us, “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” In Jesus, there is always hope no matter how dark the times.

 

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