Inside Out 2: Sense of Self, Identity in Christ Wins Out

Disney’s Masterful Exposé of Riley’s Brain on Puberty Reminds Me that Emotional Regulation Can Be Hard for Adults, Too

by Jenna Kruse

It would be easy to chalk up Disney’s newest Pixar hit, Inside Out 2, as cinema therapy for those whose hormone siren just went off—it certainly normalizes teeth that haven’t yet surrendered to the braces, skin that won’t cooperate, and the awkwardness of needing deodorant for the first time.

But as the movie masterfully gives a behind-the-scenes view of Riley’s emotional control center, I’m left wondering why, as a 40-year-old woman, I still relate so powerfully to her story—and not just as a mother of a teen and preteen.

Riley’s experience of puberty and the subsequent “emotional overhaul” it causes mirrors the intensity with which many teenagers—and adults—experience the flesh vs. spirit war that Romans 7-8 exposes within us all.

Granted, Riley and my younger self would have had much in common. In high school, my actions were often motivated by my desire to be popular. I was envious of peers who touted the right clothing brands, dominated the court or field in their chosen sport, had perfect skin, and made the romance department look easy. I believed the lie that engaging in risky behavior would get the attention I was looking for from the in-crowd.

Like Riley and most teenagers, I was forming my belief system, or identity, and taking hints from the world around me. My peers’ underdeveloped body language skills and facial expressions became the information I used to determine my self-worth in their eyes. It wasn’t until after I received the empty approval of a guy who was “impressed” that I had gotten drunk one weekend that I realized his shallow acceptance of me depended on just that—what I did or didn’t do on the weekends.

Thankfully, I learned to find my identity in Christ during that pivotal age. But the ongoing thorn in my side is that I want to do the right thing, but I often don’t (Romans 7:19). Paul’s usage of the present tense in this passage and the tantrum I had just yesterday indicate that struggling with sin isn’t limited to those who are leaving childhood behind and entering adulthood. Paul is thought to be nearly 40 years old when he writes these words that so accurately depict the human condition. He, too, knew the struggle of living in the flesh all too well.

As a self-labeled “highly sensitive child”-turned adult with thyroid disease, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, blood sugar issues, and a history of anxiety, emotional regulation has never been my strong suit. I’ve had my fair share of wrestling the flesh.

Growing up, I got in a lot of trouble because I did not know how to regulate my strong emotions, which made a lot of people uncomfortable. In those days, we didn’t have the social-emotional learning resources that we have access to today. What I felt on the inside often displayed itself on the outside in ugly, uncontrolled ways.

Now, as a mother to a teen, a preteen, and a child with sensory uniqueness of her own, it’s as challenging as ever to navigate my big adult emotions with grace. I’ve done a lot of work over the years, exploring tools and resources that help me choose spirit over flesh—things like managing my diet and nutrition, getting counseling, and even attending an anger management support group.

But when I’m tempted to believe that too much is stacked against me to get this right, or I beat myself up for struggling yet again with self-control, I remember that when the Israelites messed up, God didn’t take away their name. They were still God’s people under his covenant of love, even when they pushed themselves away from him. He always brought them back.

In the gospel of Matthew, we learn that God calls Simon Peter “a rock” even when he will soon betray Jesus and waver like Jell-o under the pressure of persecution. God often names us in our current reality based on a future projection of what he knows we can become through his power. Likewise, God believes in me when I can hardly believe in myself.

God knows I’m tempted to view myself as an out-of-control mom incapable of grace, especially when I dwell on past mistakes. But God, in his goodness, is rewriting the narrative.

Recently, on the last day of a women’s retreat I attended, I listened to the leader tell us there would be a word sitting at each spot around the tables before dinner. Emphasizing that their team had intentionally prayed over these words, I made my way to the place I had been sitting at all weekend—you know, the spot you choose at the beginning of an event and keep sitting at repeatedly as if there is an imaginary nametag there with your name on it.

Now, a physical “nametag” would be sitting in front of me at the table. Taking all the beauty in, I took a deep breath and found “my spot.” I could hardly believe what I saw. Before me was a little white card held up by a tiny clothespin and a sprig of lavender. In beautiful calligraphy, the nametag read the word “gentle.”

This team of women didn’t know my backstory or who would receive this particular word. Yet God knew.

He’s in the renaming business, and he calls me “gentle.” Just as Riley needed to be reminded of her sense of self when everything around her felt out of whack, I can ground myself and my emotions in what God says is true of me. After all, his is the only opinion that matters.

What is the narrative on repeat inside your head that God wants to rewrite?

As a writer and speaker, Jenna Kruse specializes in equipping and encouraging parents in the digital age to raise the next generation to know and love Jesus. As a wife and mom of three kids who make fun of her for crying during Disney movies, she writes about finding Jesus in movies, media, culture, and more. You can find her work at somethinglikescales.com or on Instagram @digitalparent_talk.

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Jenna

Jenna Kruse is a teacher but not in a classroom. She loves to think outside the box and inside the Word and is daily in need of an attitude adjustment. She is a wife to Justin, a mother to three children ages 10, 8 and 5 and a mentor to teenagers and young adults. You can learn more about the heart behind her blog HERE.

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