“I’m a crabby person.”
“That’s just who I am,” I conceded to my husband the other day, my defeatist attitude brought on by a recent stream of moodiness I couldn’t seem to get a handle on. Any chance you’re in that kind of season, too? In “The Broken Way” calendar with daily quotations from one of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp reminds me that sometimes the best way to remove the scales from my eyes and life is to evaluate where I’ve misplaced my identity. Ann writes, “Activity for God—is not the same as intimacy with God or identity in God. And it is your intimacy with Christ that gives you your identity.”
If I’m being honest, I must admit that it’s easy for us mothers to misplace our identity in anything but our intimacy with Christ. On one end, we look to our children for fulfillment, on the other, to our inherent failures to write ourselves off. We give ourselves a place value based on a career status that may have taken a few detours. And don’t forget the mental report card we’ve filled out for every single fruit of the Spirit. Patience? F. Self-Control? D minus.
When we lose sight of our inherent worth that comes only from the work and life of Jesus Christ, we go looking for it in any seemingly sufficient success indicator we formulate for ourselves, which are often arbitrary and downright unattainable. They leave us drained, not to mention defeated.
Why? Because those fruit of the Spirit are actually a package deal. Love, joy and peace don’t come when we forget that God already made us righteous in the areas of kindness and gentleness and self-control. So, we pull up our bootstraps, like we are so capable of doing, all tied in with our shame, and we keep striving to conquer every mile marker we conjure up and measure ourselves against. Frustratingly, it’s a habit we don’t give up that easily. It is only when we surrender our own efforts and trust in God’s provision and love that we no longer see ourselves through the ugly lens of our daily shortcomings:
I’m not just a moody momma who can’t get her act together. I’m a beloved and redeemed daughter who has been commissioned to participate and partner with a Holy God in a life-giving endeavor of raising humans. And that, my friend, is one messy, miraculous calling. You know what else? We have a God who knows a thing or two about messy-miraculous. His name is Jesus.
Friend, we do ourselves and our families no good when we sacrifice intimacy on the altar of activity. Jesus says, “Come here, with all your mess, and I’ll show you the miracle.” I can think of no greater intimacy than a vulnerability like that. And when we experience it—when we truly experience it—we are able to pass it on to those in our closest proximity.
Share a thought: What is one way you can show up with your mess and experience the miracle? Leave your comment below!
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Jenna, thanks so much for sharing this! I had a holy moment tonight when my friends (ahem, you included 🙂 got so excited for me about a recent home renovation project. I had been focused on all of the imperfections, all of the struggle, all of the money that went into it. While, you, my friends, celebrated with me the (nearly!) finished product of a project I had been so excited about and really has transformed a space in my house. You ask: “What is one way you can show up with your mess and experience the miracle?” I think by simply taking my eyes off the mess and putting them on the Miracle Maker.
Your wrote: “That’s just who I am,” I conceded to my husband the other day, my defeatist attitude brought on by a recent stream of moodiness I couldn’t seem to get a handle on.” Wow, did that resonate with me! I sometimes feel like I just always see the problem, the imperfection, the struggle and allow that to overwhelm me. Why is it so hard to see the good in the midst of those things? My prayer for this week will be — “God help me see You when I see a problem, an annoyance, a failure, a stressor. Help me look past them to see what You are doing in the midst of it.” Sounds simple, but I haven’t been practicing it very much lately!
Ali, it’s cool to hear how God laid this on your heart. It is SO easy to find the faults in our lives. We were made for a someday perfection, but for now we must put up with the imperfect as we long for the other. Even amidst it, God uses it for GOOD to refine us. Kind of amazing and strange all at once. Your renovations ARE pretty cool. You thought it up and it is all coming together beautifully. I pray it will be seen through a new light every time you walk into that space. <3
Jenna parenting is a messy job! But it can be one of the most rewarding especially when you are my age and you look back on it!! This is one of those times! I’m so proud of you and all that you are, flaws and all! If we didn’t have our Heavenly Father’s guidance and Jesus walking or carrying us many times along the way it would be nearly impossible.
Thanks, Mom! What a beautiful response! Maybe I got my writing from you 🙂 And I appreciate all your wisdom and faith. I’ve always looked up to the way you did and still do mother!