Motherhood and Car Rides: The Traveling Ministry

I recently shared in my monthly newsletter that parenting teens and parenting toddlers may not be as different as we think. When your kids were little and struggled to fall asleep, you grabbed the keys and drove around town to lure them into dreamland.

Recently, when one of my older kids was struggling with friendships and mood swings (all things preteen), I used the same parenting strategy: I grabbed the keys and took her for a drive.

But I’m not the only one who values a good car ride in the repertoire of tools in the mom tool belt. The value of time spent on the road with your kids came up recently with my new friend and fellow writer, Heather Cruz, author of Grace for Every Mom. I asked her to share with us the grace given to our families when we find unique ways to connect with them in our busy lives: by hitting the road together.

Here is Heather:

If you ever think those miles driving teenagers are a waste of time, you may want to reconsider. God often calls us to go to great lengths to share the gospel with perfect strangers. So, it should not surprise us that God calls us to go to those same great lengths to share the gospel with our families.

The apostle Paul traveled over 9,000 miles in four key missionary journeys with a variety of fellow Christ followers. He went to incredible lengths to ensure people heard the good news, the lifesaving message of salvation through Jesus Christ. Many people he encountered on the way became close friends and even family.

When my oldest son faced an unexpected turn in his life, it caused our family to drive nearly an hour daily each way to the school he needed. Having endured a brain injury that lasted almost a year, he needed a fresh start, and we found it at a Christian school a couple of towns over. The one year we thought we were giving him at the Christian school turned into more than a decade of driving the distance. Driving became a way of life.

The Way of Life

While I never would have planned to drive so far to school, the challenge became a blessing. I thought when my kids grew up and looked back on their childhood, they would be frustrated about the long drive. The opposite proved true. Both of my college-age kids look back on the long drive as, yes, a challenge, but also one that brought us closer together.

Our time spent talking on the road every day provided space for us to help each other through the ups and downs of life. I listened to their hard questions and pointed them to God for the answers. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that God is faithful and will provide a way of escape so we can endure difficult temptations that come our way. Indeed, God became the way and the truth for the toughest parts of their lives.

The Best Kept Secrets

Our teenagers often save sharing about the most important aspects of their lives for the end of a long drive. In our busy lives, we often struggle to give enough time for a conversation to develop to the depth needed for a healthy relationship.

The uninterrupted time given to us in these long car rides gave my children enough courage to let it all out. When we build trust that we are a safe place to go, our kids can share their mistakes, fears, and doubts. Furthermore, their most well-kept secrets shared on a long car ride can give birth to a rich back-and-forth conversation where our best-kept nuggets of wisdom are finally welcomed.

Often in parenting, our kids look at us as if we were never kids ourselves. When our teenagers get vulnerable with us in conversation and we respond to them with authentic grace, we often surprise them with truth that sets them free. That truth often comes from experiences we faced in our childhood and time spent with the Lord.

The apostle Paul talks much about the mystery of God, which is how Jesus Christ brings us boundless riches, the inheritance of grace, and the eternal purposes God has for each of us. As the apostle Paul mentions, God can reveal a truth to us that helps our children receive the grace only God can provide them.

The Lost Art

The art of conversation is getting lost between parents and children today. When I was younger and needed to figure out the answer to a question, I had to call my mom, grandma, or grandpa for the answer. Now, kids just ask Google. They miss out on the simple interactions of old that kept us all connected.

We see Paul interact with many people throughout his missionary journeys. He takes time to thank those he meets and share God’s love and grace with them. The ripple effect of those connections still impacts us today.

Kids and adults today, however, are often less confident when communicating with others in person because of the time spent on their screens. True, screens never give disappointing looks or pass judgment on the words that come from our mouths. But screens also never offer God’s wisdom, hold them accountable to God’s better plan for their life, or share the truth in a loving manner.

Indeed, communication with a screen has changed the way kids relate to others. But peering out of a windshield while opening up about a hard thing reduces the fear of sharing it with a parent. It gives both the child and the parent a moment to react calmly. Texting and social media may allow us to say something important with less emotion, but it also removes the emotional connection. And it often distracts us from good old-fashioned, face-to-face Q&A with our family members where the deep, loving, life-affirming connections we all need happen.

So the next time you’re tempted to complain about the mileage you’re logging to transport your children to their multitude of events, remember the day arrives all too soon when you will drive them to their college, tech school, or apartment across the country.

Savor every mile, every smile, and every dial they change on the radio. Ask them new questions each day, pray for them as they leave the car, and share with them all God is teaching you through the challenges you face with God by your side.

Dear Mama, may every road you travel together be filled with joy and may God keep your hearts and minds focused on the path he prepared for you to travel.

Heather Cruz is a Christian author, speaker, wife, and mom of three fun kids. She speaks at conferences, retreats, and womens’ events and has a Master’s in Education. As author of Grace for Every Mom: How a Grace-Filled Life Builds a Joy-Filled Family, Heather is passionate about encouraging women and families to raise their children with the Lord at the center of their lives. She loves hot cocoa, hay rides, and giving kids wild tube rides behind a boat.

You can find Heather at Grace for Every Mom (heathercruz.com)

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Jenna

Jenna Kruse is a teacher but not in a classroom. She loves to think outside the box and inside the Word and is daily in need of an attitude adjustment. She is a wife to Justin, a mother to three children ages 10, 8 and 5 and a mentor to teenagers and young adults. You can learn more about the heart behind her blog HERE.

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